Sometimes we are dissatisfied with our lot, wanting more. Sometimes people think they deserve more. They become a little bitter and think that nothing is ever enough for them. They see the negative side of things and do not forgive easily. They can be cynical. In short, they are not happy.
Here is my advice for feeling joy and for seeing the positive side of things.
One day, we asked a group of people to write their hard experiences and difficulties on paper put them in a big dish in the middle of the table. Then, each person in turn told what was in their bundle. When they were asked to choose any paper from the dish, everyone chose their own. No one wanted to have the difficulties of another.
It is important to know that Hashem gives everyone the tools to bear "their own bundle of difficulties". Rabbi Tzadok Hacohen says that we are in this world to make a תיקון (tikkun), to try to fix our souls.
How do we know what our Tikun is? Rabbi Dessler says: “Make a list of everything you have to fix, and fix everything you haven't written down.” It is hard to admit what we need to repair.
Simcha (joy) is the tool that can help us give meaning to our lives.
One Rabbi who was very small in stature was asked how he managed to be cheerful all the time. He had buried children, had lived through exile in Siberia, and had survived other horrors. He answered: “In a glass that is half empty and half full, I am so small that I can only see the beginning of the glass, the part that is full.”
In the Mishnah, in Pirke Avot, perek dalet, michna alef, it is written: "Who is the richest? He who is content with his lot"
What gives us Simcha (joy)? How can we be content with ourlot? One way is by being humble and by cancelling the ego. The "I" does not exist in importance
Bil’am in the Bible had a spirit of pride. He said: "I exist and I have priority". In this case, one never has enough and one will die with shortages.
Self-centredness and materialism require the person to fulfil his or her needs, wishes, and desires The human being tends to count what he lacks. But the Torah recommends:
"Get used to counting your blessings.” If one has joy and loves what one does, everything is different.
The one who is happy with his lot, does not expect more. He even wonders how he got to be so lucky.
When someone is עניו (humble) he does not think he is special.He is happy with the little he has. Even the little he has, he understands comes from the chessed (kindness) of Hashem.
He thinks that he deserves nothing more than to be here and to be healthy. He is happy with his lot. He does not hate anyone and therefore is loved by others, because he is positive all the time.
Abraham did not say to Hashem: "I have a lot" but he said: "I have everything" ״יש לי כל״
I have what I need.
If you change your mindset, you can get used to thinking positive. When you are asked: "How are you?", you can reply: "Baruch Hashem: I have health, family, and a job." To be able to integrate joy in us, we need to be humble enough to see that what we already have is a gift.
The monotony of daily life can kill joy. You can renew yourselfand make positive changes in your life. Do not rest on your laurels.
True joy lies in understanding that what makes us live the longest is Simcha.
(Inspired by Rabanit S. Schatz)