It’s one of the most frequently asked questions in every serious school of thought. It is a classic that rabbis, philosophers and ethicists alike have grappled with over the centuries. There isn’t even a yeshivah where a devout student has not turned to his teacher with the ultimate question: the question of faith. “Rabbi, I’m not sure. I am struggling with my faith. I want to believe, but sometimes I’m just not clear in my mind.”

While there are different approaches to the problem, some wise mentors would be dismissive of it. “Don’t take it so seriously,” they smiled. “It’s OK. Most of us go through those phases. You are a believer, the son of a believer, and your natural faith will shine through. Pay no attention to it whatsoever, and carry on as if nothing happened. It’s a curable problem and, most often, time and experience are the greatest healers.”

If you have ever suffered from doubts, perhaps it may comfort you to know that even rabbis have their doubts now and then.

Here’s my personal story.

It was January 1991. The Middle East was tense. U.S. President George H.W. Bush gave Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein an ultimatum: Withdraw from Kuwait or face an attack by the United States. The deadline was fast approaching. Just after midnight on Jan. 17, Bush gave the order for U.S. troops to lead an international coalition in an attack on Hussein’s army.

Israel and the Jewish world were in a state of panic. Hussein was threatening to attack Israel with his menacing Scud missiles, and there were serious fears that he would also use chemical warfare. Israel was distributing gas masks to all its citizens. The trepidation was tangible.

Jews around the world were petrified. Israel had nothing to do with the conflict, but Hussein was threatening to unleash his formidable arsenal on Israel. America was advising Israel not to act against the Iraqi leader, even under the threat of missiles. Bush promised Israel protection and deployed the Patriot air-defense system to stop the Scuds from doing damage. Every Jew in the world was afraid and anxious, to say the least. In almost every Jewish community, there were prayer meetings and emergency fundraising campaigns. 

I found one voice in the wilderness that was calming and reassuring. My teacher, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson (the Lubavitcher Rebbe, whose 31st yahrzeit will be observed at the end of the month), reiterated that in his opinion, Israel was safe. He even advised Israel’s government that gas masks would not be necessary.

So there I was on Jan. 18 in a packed Sydenham Shul in Johannesburg, for Friday-night Shabbat services. A little more than 1,000 people filled the seats. Bush’s deadline was about to expire, and no one knew what would happen. Would America attack Iraq? Would Iraq retaliate against innocent Israel? I had studied the Rebbe’s words carefully and was about to deliver my sermon. I was going to quote the Rebbe’s teachings about God’s eyes being upon His holy land and that Israel had nothing to fear. It was meant to be a rousing message of faith and hope designed to put my congregation’s mind more at ease.

Then, in the middle of the Lecha Dodi prayer, the little door near my seat in shul opened a crack, and my friend and neighbor, Itz Ginsberg, poked his head in to give me the latest news. “Rabbi! I just heard the 6 p.m. news. Saddam Hussein has fired two Scuds into Israel!”

(Three such missiles were fired earlier that day, and air-raid sirens went off that night in Israel, with the prediction of even more. They turned out to be false alarms.)

That’s all. No details. Were they direct hits? Were there casualties, God forbid? That’s all he managed to hear on the radio just before Shabbat, and no more information was available.

What do I do now? Here I am about to deliver a message of faith to a packed synagogue, and who knows what’s going on there as I speak? Imagine that I give this stirring, inspiring sermon, and then they hear the news, and it’s not so good. “So much for the rabbi and his faith.”

I make the following confession in all honesty and humility. For a few minutes, I was in doubt as to what to do. Maybe I should run to my office and find some notes from an old sermon about the Torah portion of the week? Perhaps I should feign laryngitis and not speak at all? Or … should I deliver my original sermon as planned and risk the consequences?

For those few minutes, I agonized over the decision. I was torn; my mind was in turmoil. But then, my inner faith came through, and I made the right decision. I would deliver the sermon exactly as planned. And I did.

And the rest is history. In all, Hussein fired as many as 42 Scuds at Israel over the next month, primarily at Tel Aviv and Haifa. Not one of them caused even a single casualty! And there were no chemical warheads; the gas masks weren’t necessary.

Thank God, my faith prevailed over my doubts.

It’s very much the same situation today. Iran is firing hundreds of ballistic missiles at Israel and targeting civilian areas. While there have been a few direct hits and some terrible casualties, the miracles far outweigh the failures. Israel has managed to intercept about 90% of those devastating missiles.

What Israel has done in Iran is unprecedented. But it is not yet over, and we have doubts, don’t we? Understandably, we worry.

Our Torah portion this week, Shelach, tells the story of the 12 spies sent by Moses on a reconnaissance mission to the land of Canaan before the Israelites were to conquer it and make it the Holy Land. But the spies lacked the faith that God could help deliver them miraculously from the terrifying Canaanite warriors. Sadly, their lack of faith was contagious, and the entire people wept at the prospect of being wiped out. As a result, the Jews spent 40 years in the wilderness and only the next generation merited to enter the Promised Land.

I understand doubt. It’s normal. Even rabbis have their moments. But we need to fortify ourselves with the inner faith and trust in God. That faith and trust are there, inside each of us, though sometimes, we have to dig deeper to discover them.

With resolve, courage and trust, our doubts can be overcome. May we see a decisive victory over our enemies and the ultimate peace.

Source: JNS